(Talking about something that is not my own experience, feel free to correct me)
There seems to be a debate about whether demisexuals are “queer” or oppressed. I would say to the first thing: YES. Demisexuality is not the dominant sexual ideology, therefore it falls under the queer umbrella. Are they oppressed, I can’t say. On one hand, I don’t know of anyone who has faced job or housing discrimination based on that identification. On the other, being surrounded by a culture that treats you as freakish, calls you mentally ill or emotionally immature, or acts as though you are just “acting out to get attention” is alienating and anxiety-producing. Saying “these people don’t belong in our queer label” reminds me of the false specter of “men pretending to be women” that reactionary “feminists” level at trans-inclusive spaces.
I don’t think people say they’re queer so they can go flaunt their privilege at the best dance parties. I think they say it because they’ve been rejected by mainstream society and want to find people that understand and accept them.
